letter to a friend in explanation of a verse..

              Letter to a Friend in explanation of a verse.
____________________________________________

(a new style i'm experimenting with...
but then again..it's ALL an experiment
isn't it my friend?
an abstract notion which confuses
human sentiment with truth, while
refusing to accept the reality that truth
is merely a mystery we choke on.
(suffocated by unreliable memories.)

I knew something was wrong last
night,.. when the stars made me feel
nauseated..
like my head was spinning around in
circular monotony,.. with nothing original
to cure this sickness arising from the place
i shall hold in history.
(a  ghost within our heads.)

i pale to imagine how many days
the "questions" we ask will be
answered with laughter..
as the cruel angels who know everything
sit lazily on their asses writing down every
fated activity as if they were MORE than
Relics of Fate.

trapped in the circularity of lifes design...

but...it's all just an Experiment anyway..
isn't it my friend?

                 J.Stephen.H.

              (no wonder they assume i'm
               imperfectily sane.)

deus ex machina.

Deus Ex Machina.
______________

Silence..
The only
response
suiting of
a False Heart.

and The best
way to win
the Game?

(don't play
it.)

Bury
Everything..
and leave
Sad little
Angels to
their Grim
Design.
_

Did you
think you
were different
J?

Sitting in
your Glass
House, filling
the walls with
smoke, as the
The Angel took
your Blues
away?!

Back you
go now..
Back you
GO.

(into the
Flames.)
_

I have Dreams
of Puppets (who
look like me)
dancing at the
foot of my bed
so merrily that
I almost think
(at first)
they are harbingers
of Destiny..

but,..they are
Frauds..such
as  sentiments
like:"Forever"
or: "You
are my
Everything!"

(and those many
hateful singular
and Plural GODS.)
_

This is my
altar..
this electronic
box capable
of holding
novels upon
novels of
My twisted
thoughts for
anyone to
See.

But do
I care?

Do they
Care?

(is there
ANYONE
left who
truly READS?!)
_

Between the
Lines I shall
stand, like a
pacifist solider
too preoccupied
with wars in his
head to care
about yours.

Or theirs..

(or anyone
who pretends
to care.)
__

This is
MY GOD
NOW.

(deus ex machina.)

And no
Angels are
ALLOWED.

j.stephen.h.

no one burns like me.

No One Burns Like Me.
__________________

Soon..
The ice in
His Head
will cease
the Fires of
His Heart.
(which burns
in vain.)

His Logic
Always Trumps
Emotion..
(eventually)
and Silences
the Residual
Animal
Whimperings
like so many
Sad Puppies
in Heat.

(Indifference..
is Mans Best
Friend You Know.)

And who will
be there?
to witness the
Afterglow?

TO dip their
hands into his
Head and melt
the Snow?

No One.
(it seems.)

Because NO
ONE BURNS
LIKE ME.

J.Stephen.H.

the price we pay.

The Price we Pay.
_______________

Pain is the Price 
we sometimes Pay 
for Love. 

A Bittersweet Song 
that Chaos Sings in 
Keys of X.

(which oddly makes
us  Balanced in The 
End.)
__

Beyond the Role.

Beyond The Role.
___________

She sees
(somehow)
Beyond the
Role.

Deep inside
of me.

(To what's
left of My
Soul.)
_

She Looks
at The Monster
and does not
turn her Head.

and even has
the Courage
to tell a joke.

(which amuses
the Ghosts within
My Head.)
_

I can hide
from The
Entire World..

(and
Myself)

but Not
This Girl..

She is
Everywhere..

In My
Nowhere..

(and Closest
to the Truth
because of
it.)

A Goddess
who Challenges
Me.


(unafraid to
tell me when
I'm Full of
Shit.)
_

So I
suppose
I only have
three options..

1) Grab a
Grave-Shovel
and Dig Myself
a Hole.

2) Choose more
successfully another
Role.

or 3):
___

(Try somehow
To Buy Back
The Remainder
of My Soul.)

J.Stephen.H.

the tears she weeps.

The Tears She Weeps.
____________

She's so
Pretty..
even her
Scars are
Lovely.

I'd Love to
Kiss them
all away.

(and Drink
The Tears
She weeps.)
_

I Puzzle
over The
Pieces of
Herself
she reveals
in Poetry.

(Several
of them far
Beyond My
Understanding.)

Sometimes
I even catch
myself caught
in Wishful
Thinking.

(Imagining
Her Love
Sonnets are
For Me.)
_

Does this
happen
every time
A Goddess
Smiles Sweetly?

Never Before
has my Heart
been Stopped.

(then restarted
simultaneously.)
_

Damn..
She's so
Lovely.

I wish
I could
Kiss her
Scars away.

(and Cease
The Tears
She Weeps.)

J.Stephen.H.








_

in ones shadow

In Ones Shadow.
_____________

This Morning,
something
followed
me out of a
Dream..

A Shadow
Figure,
with Red
Eyes.

(who looked
like Me.)
_

I didn't
even have
Time to
Scream.

(before it
was Upon
Me.)
_

Yet It's
Childish Voice
did not match
His Grim
Appearance.

Nor The
Grace it
displayed
floating
across the
Walls in
Classic Dance.

And as I
lay there
shaking,
(in Suspense)
I was surprised
when it chose
to speak of
Romance!
_

"Cling not
to Me with
Heart in
Bloom."

"Nor spend
Days fretting
in This Dusty
Room!"

"but Embrace
The World
you pretend
to Hate!"

("For it
could be
Ending
Soon.")
_

Hearing this
My Psyche
Burned..

with Riddles
and Lessons
I thought I'd
learned.

Old Plays
which brought
me Logical
Wisdom.

(of The Way
The Ancient
World Once
Turned.)

Then I Realized
(until now.)
all was Useless
Deliberation!

(For in
Ones Shadow
comes True
Education.)

J.Stephen.H.

My School

My School.
_______________

J
__

The World is My School,
and All Beings From the
Mice of the Field, to
Kings of Virtue, (and
Paupers who wander in
want of Bread;) Are My
Teachers.

Home is where I lay My
Head,..and Spirit is the
Blanket which covers me.
__
T
_

My School is in your Expression..
In the Star system of your Soul.
I can see the Heavens in All that You Do;  
And in the Twinkling of Your Eyes..
For it is there, in the ever-changing Galaxies ,
and Red Stars of your pride. In the Kindness
you give your fellow strangers,..whenever
they orbit nearby, I Learn from You.
___

J
_

Emerson was there,..
Socrates,..and Plato.
Even (on occasion)
Voltaire.

Now they are Ghosts..
who's Ever-Living Words
continue Teaching The
Mind to Dream and Think.

Old Words which inspire
New Possibilities!

(that "could" be the
Key to Immortality.)

Thus the only Dead
amongst Their Lot are
Those who were Forgotten..
Lost in the Pages of History.

(or stuck as Whispers
Somewhere between The
Lines.)

Potentialities grown
Stale and Rotten!

(Frozen Somewhere in
The Shadow of Time.)
_________



j.s.h.

i am monster hear me cry.

I Am Monster. 

(Hear Me Cry.)

________________________

"I am Monster!"
(hear me Cry.)

See My Heart
consumed.

(by The Beasts
of Wrath Inside.)

_

You cannot tell 
me what to do
Deja' Vu...

You can only
tell me where 
I've been.

(before I get 
there.)

And I will
not Bow
(in Fear)
to You!

(or Try to
be Your
Friend.)

_

I am
Sleeper..

(feel me
Dream.)

The Ancient
Keeper!!

(Of  Secrets
that would
Make The
Devil Scream.)

_

I am
Monster..

Hear me
Cry!!!

While Lost
in the Solitude
Of Night.

Consumed by
The Ghost of
Self!!

(Ruled
By The Beast
Inside.)

j.stephen.h.

the clock seeks vengeance on this frame.

The Clock Seeks Vengeance on This Frame.
_______________________________________

This Morning,
(upon awakening)
I bit the Head
off of a Clock..
and spit Lost
Seconds into
an Abyss.

(where A
Human Face
used to Be.)

and then I
paced The
Floors (like
a Madman)
Laughing.

(because I'm
Too ashamed
to Weep.)
_

I recall fond
Moments
from Days
Long Gone,..
when I used
to Eat Her
Heart (for
Breakfast.)
as She Smiled
Sweetly Like
The Dawn.

Inviting me
into That
Secret Place,..
where Love
Stands Crucified.

(without a Wall
of Shame to Nail
My Soul Upon.)
_

But this
Abyss
is Endless
(now)
it seems..

A Place of
Darkness
void of Light,.

with Seconds
Measured in
My head by
Screams!!

as The Clock
seeks Vengeance
on This Frame.

(where a Smiling
Face used To Be.)

j.stephen.h.

The World at Large.

The World at Large.
_________________

She feels
Lonely in a
Crowded
Room..

Yet Smiles
to put the
Minds of
Others at
ease.

(and conceal
her Inner
Gloom.)
_

I Hide my
Heart from
The World
At Large.

(and see
Love as
a Mental
Disease,
which
always
Ends Too
Soon.)
_

She still
believes in
Angels,

and thinks
Mankind
Plays on a
Field Fairly
Level.
_

I think
Humanity
was long
ago Strangled!

(Or taken
Hostage by
The Devil.)
_

But..
for all
of this..

(our
opposite
Qualities
which seem
to conflict.)

I still
believe
in Paradise!

(For I've
found it in
Her Kiss.)

J.Stephen.H.