a predator of my own heart

A Predator unto my Own Heart.
______________________

Why must I
Be..A Predator
of my Own
Heart..?

unable to see!

(Beyond The
Inner Dark.)

I Broke her
Mending
Wings..

before they
had a chance
to Heal..

then sent
her away..
to Be Without
Me.

(left Behind
and trying Not
to Feel.)
_

Why must
Fate be so
Damn Cruel?!

Giving others
a Throne to
sit upon.

(while I'm
left Here with
A Broken
Stool.)
___

and Why must
I Be..

A Predator
of My Own
Heart?

Unable to
See!

(She was
the Light
which saved
me From
The Dark.)

J.Stephen.H.

the tyrant.

The Tyrant.

_________

I'm lost, and 

broken now..

A Tyrant who

only yesterday

had the world

figured out.

It's foolish 

for the damned

to assume there

is salvation in

any Love..

everything ends

the same for me.

Because Angels 

are a Myth.

(and Faith a

Mockery.)

_

I Hope this

is your Desire.

To be set free

from the tyranny

of my Fire..

and walk again

the shinning

halls of Freedom..

as I remain,

(myself)

a Lonely

Heathen...

(Unworthy

of The Goddess

Love.)

_

take care

beautiful.

Love you.

XIII.

sickness

SICKNESS. (a jolly rant.).
_____________________

Sickness spreads
through it's head like
a Cancer.

A Spider feasting
on The Frontal Lobe..
causing a Dissociation
of Self...Irrational
Aggression which seeks
to destroy everything
it sought to build.
____

There is no difference
between being Ignored
and Empty.

One is a Mockery
of Hope which ultimately
leads to NOTHING...
The other?
(a blissfully determinable
reality.)

It knows what Love is.
A Word used to SUCK
you in, and weaken...
letting go only when
you're Hollow...a Lesser
Version of the Thing
You were when The
Chaos of it all made
sense somehow.

It KNOWS what Love
is.

(some OTHER
Mammals Fictitious
WEAKNESS.)
__

Shall we dance?

Another cruel interplay
of words perhaps?

Hateful sentiments,
cold and petty to
mask the Passions
salty Burn!...

(who does not
cherish such fickle
rivalries?)
__

Soon there will
be nothing left
but the Sickness..
spreading through
its head destroying
everything The heart
once sought to feel.

Until..
the sickness...

(is the ONLY
THING left
that's real.)
__

It knows what
love is...

a sad man dying
alone ranting away
the Hours in his
Cell..

wishing Beauty
had made the
difference.
___

Times Up...

XIII.

no puppet to the fiction

No Puppet to The Fiction
__________________

Cast no Fictitious
Love before me..
and spare those
petty thoughtless
charms..

I am NOT
the Hero of this
Story.

but A Villain
with
scars across his
arms!
_

The Dark eats
Eyes
like yours for
Breakfast..

and spits
Shadows
in your
Face.

Thus wary be,
who Walks amidst
the Tempest!!

(for Here there
is no light of
Heavens Grace.)
_

I float across
Graves of
Other Men,

Who (in their
Folly) thought
that Love could
Save..

though Most
knew Romance
was Pretend!

All
(regardless)
sought it
Anyway.
__

I shall be
No Puppet
to The Fiction..

led astray
by flirts and
Pretty Stares..

For I
Dear
Prosper
as The Villain!!!

(and have
never met a
Hero Anywhere.)

J.Stephen.H.

the anti-thesis

the anti-thesis again.
_______________

Yes..
the
Antithesis
again..
it
incompletes
me..
it seems..

To know
Hell..
is full of
Friends.

(who find
me in My
Dreams.)

And here
I am..
Rock Middle..

Half-Dead,
and Damned..

Holding The
Devils Fiddle..

(broken
in My Hand.)
_

Fire in
The Valley..

Run Sheep
Run!!

The Shepherd
of Insanity..

now Beats
his Evil
Drum.
___

Chicken in
the Whore-
House..

pickin off
Hoes..

Will it
ever End
Son?

(no sir,
no...)

Yes..
The Tragic
Zookeeper
who started
as an Animal...

and then
Evolved..

(into a
telempath
who Multi-
Channels.)

__

I am the
REASON
that these
Monsters
DO not
Sleep at
Night...

The Orkin
Man..

(eleminating
Social Parasites.)

_

yes..
the antithesis
again..

it incompletes
me it seems..

To know
HELL..

(is my
one and
ONLY
Friend.)

j.stephen.h.

the fearless artist

The Fearless Artist.
____________

Laughing..the
Voice said:

"What are Ye,
But a Hack
Artist full of
Old Ideas?.."

"How can
Thou expect to
Create Art,

From such
Antiquity?!"

"Dip now thy
Quill in Bloody
Ink..

and Fearless
Like The Dark
Thus Be!!"

"Show them..
(All!!)
The Horrors
of The Mind
they are Entering!"
__

"But Voice"
(said I.)

"I Fear This."

This Thing.."

"This Devil
which seems
to Sorely Occupy."

(My Head of
Suffering.)
__

"Be then A
Devil who
Exploits His
Pain!"

(the Voice
said.)

"Combining
Lies and Truth.."

"to make a
Mockery of
The Angels!"

(which Your
Pen has Slain.)

"Be now
The Artist
Dead."

(who shall
Live through
Words Again.)
__

J.Stephen.H.

the theatre of sef revisited

The Theatre of Self Revisited/
_____________________

I'm sitting in
The Theatre
of Self (again.)
Watching The
World roll by
like some Moving
Picture on A
Fuzzy Screen.

Senses jumbled,
and confused...

The Sky tastes
like Dirt..
My Screams
smell Bloody..
and Bellicose Tears
Thunder from my
Eyes. (deafening me.)
_

I'd give anything
to feel once more
the Pain of Memories..
now that they are
numb, and fading into
inaccessible chambers
out of Reach.

Somewhere
like an Abyss..
(I call my Heart.)
Where I earned
My First Damned
Kiss. (from The
Ever-growing
Dark.)
_

Today is a Rerun..
Episode Thirteen
from a Past Life;
and it's just getting
to The Part where
I say F?ck it, and
retreat somewhere
in the corner with a
Knife, to take back
the Control I lost
somewhere along
the Way.
__

but Damn...
The Blade
Smells Like
 Rage..

Like Love cast
Headlong into
The Flames...
where I can only
sit as a Pssenger
in this Theatre of
Self...

(and Burn for the
Return of Memories
which now Fade.)

J.Stephen.H.