through the mansion of my memories.

Through The Mansion of My Memories.
_____________________________

The Silence
(once a Razor)
no longer
cuts my Heart
of Stone.

For I am
Immune to
The Charms
of Angels
now.

(and prefer
to be Alone.)
_

Though
admittedly
I must confess,
I occasionally
miss the Cutting.

Since The
Brutal Sting
of Times Caress
defeated My
Sense of Nothing.
_

Blank and
Empty,..
staring Deep..
Across a Tragic
Sea.

Describes
a Fraction of
My Thoughts.

When The
Ghost of Former
Love comes
Creeping.

(Through The
Mansion of
My Memories.)
_

J.Stephen.H.

you own me..you know.

you own me..you know.
___________________
There is a
Flight of
Renegade
Butterflies
Raging War
inside my
gut Tonight..
as I stand
here like a
Putty-Stone,
Drowning in
the Sad Oceans
of Your Moon-
struck Eyes.

You own Me,
You Know..
and I Hope you
Realize just
how far your
stare travels
through My
Mind.

(to that Place
Lonely Echoes
once occupied.)

_

Since I'm not
the type to look
Gift-Angels
in The Mouth,
I will not ask
what I did to
deserve your
Kisses.

I'll just stand
here like a Heart-
Sick Fiend
making Wishes.

(which your
Presence
has already
granted.)

j.s.h.

cuts made by passing years

Cuts Made By Passing Years.
_________________________

Do you feel now my dear,
these cuts made by passing
years? As we (in silence)
sit, regurgitating Ancient Fears...
listening to the same old songs;
debating right and wrong like
students of the know!

(who know nothing but the
endlessness of their ignorance.)

In Youth we made Angels
in the Snow. They were majestic..
Mindless Heroes who could
do anything but move and speak.
And I remember looking into
your eyes and feeling weak..
how death might feel if he gazed
upon the one Love he could not
bring himself to kill.

(nothing had ever felt more real.)
_

But now..here we are..Two Worm
Holes who used to be Stars; acting
like Masochists who crave the cuts
of passing years.

( yet bitch about it
every step of the way.)

j.s.h.

marshmallow days

Marshmallow Days.
_______________

My Soul has
come to dread
these Fluffy
Marshmallow
Days.

(Which lead
to Carbon nights
of Tasteless
Tragedy.)

They are
Unreal
Beyond
Imagining.
_

I smell Ghosts
everywhere, and
know they See
My Depravity.

(but they are
quite sensitive
considering how
Fearful Wraiths
can Be.)

Thus
Yesterday I was
a Man!

(while Today
I'm just Their
Memory.)

__

j.s.h.

pretty angel broken

Pretty Angel Broken.
______________________

She stands before Him Weeping.
Hands over puffed eyes. Neck Red
and Swollen. He considers saying
something, but figures it would be best
to allow her the first word, then go
along with whatever she says.

Moments pass,.. but the crying
continues, and silence grows like
The Darkness Between Them.
Threatening his Sanity. (or what's
left.)

Finally, after three tears shy of
Eternity she Speaks. Her Voice
a Crushed Rose that weeps Sad
Noise.

Her: I'm not shocked you know..
I knew you'd do it eventually.

Him: Yeah...

Her: (eyes shining in anger which
eats the sadness.)  That's fuckin it?!
Really?!...

No Honey, dont worry about me..
I'm O.K..no
need to APOLOGIZE!!
(she screams.)

Him: Don't act innocent in all this!
(he replies in anger matching her
own.) I saw the way you looked at
"Him." Like a little lost puppy
offered it's first Bone!

His Eyes Dance with A Madness only
Love or it's Absence could conceive;
and he struggles to gain his composure
as he watches Her turn her neck to the
side, exposing the deep red hand print
already turning the color of purple rage.

(A few more eternities pass before
she finally answers him. )

She: No One Deserves this Stephen.
(she whispers.)

The guilt rises in him now, as he looks
at the bruising..bruising he caused. One
may as well have plucked the wings from
an angel and blown his nose on them.
Tears threaten to overwhelm him but he
chokes them down and lowers his head.

He: You're right. (he said.) I'm Sorry
Baby..So Sorry. It just drives me Crazy
thinking of you with someone else..them
touching you. You..kissing..and..shit.
(his voice fades off..stuttering to a halt,
because he realizes he is digging a bigger
grave with his words, and if he continues
nothing will get him out of it.)

She: (cracking a sarcastic, half grin that
isn't amused in the least.) I'm with you 24
hours a Day, and have never once thought
about being with anyone else. Yeah..at times
I thought about getting "away from you." But
after all the shit you've put Me through I
wouldn't be fuckin SANE enough to try it
again. I would always SEE you in anyone
I met.

Him: (Madness born of Love and
Jealousy returning in his eyes.) Sounds
like you've given it a lot of thought.
(he says suspiciously.)

(She looks at him with a mixture of disgust,
and pity,..but gone is any Ghost of Love
which may have once walked the Halls
of her Beaten Heart.)

She: I don't know what made you this way,
but I don't think there was ever any hope for
us.

(Panic and Fear replace the madness, and
he feels a cold desperation filling his chest
like acidic air.)

Him: Don't say that Baby!..Shit. Please.
I know I get Crazy at Times, but you should
KNOW I'd never.."really" hurt you.

(she snorts hysterically at this as if he's told
a Stupid Joke.)

Her: oh...Hell..where to even begin. Ha ha!
(she laughs madly,..but madness always sounds
better from the Throat of an Angel. So he finds
himself strangely intrigued.)

Him: Look..after today I'll start trying to trust
more, and work on my issues, o.k.?...You just
have to understand how my Life has been..I'm
always getting fucked over by people, and I
don't mean to take that out on you. But you SAID
you loved me,..and if you truly did we could
work through this.

Her: (sorrow filling her eyes intensely now.)
Not this Time..Even if I wanted to..and I'm
not sayin I do..but..I can't Stephen. I'm sorry.

(The room stirs with a foreign electricity
unseen, the kind felt in your head and heart..
like an evil one breathes.)

Him: (walking towards her, and moving
his hand out to touch her face.) but
baby!..

(She doesn't say anything,..merely stares
down at a random place on the floor, as
if it may distract her from looking into the
Burning Eyes of this Man who had loved
her To Death with Madness.)

Him: Baby!...

His Eyes fill with Newborn Fear,
as he tries caressing her cheek, only to
discover that his hand has passed through
her face, and she is no longer there.

(Then he walks toward the door, heart
beating in desperation, and screams in
Hell's Horror as he looks upon the
Pretty Angel Lying Broken on The
Floor.)

j.stephen.h.

dead sleep

Do The Dead Sleep?
______________

Do you ever
wonder if the
Dead sleep,
and we are
Their Dreams?

Fragmented
Lives playing
out in This
Machine crafted
by Unmovable
Hands that never
did Anything.

(but Make it
All.)
_

I wonder,..and
Because I Wonder,
I Wonder if I
Am Death,..or
Death's Dream of
Itself?

(Playing out
in A Second)

j.stephen.h.

in my shadows house

In My Shadows House.
________________

In My Shadows
House there are
Many Craters, which
Kiss An Abyss
For This Forever
which Never Comes.

(nor Sees the Night
devoured by a New
and Cleansing Sun.)
_

Heed the Mighty
Ranter, and toss
peanuts at Him to
feed his need for
Admiration!

Watch as He
(with good intentions)
Destroys Everything
He seeks to Create
because Destruction
must always come
first before the Dawning
of New Age!

( Then Smile at
the Shadow Houses
that he Builds Upon
His face.)

j.stephen.h.