cuts made by passing years

Cuts Made By Passing Years.
_________________________

Do you feel now my dear,
these cuts made by passing
years? As we (in silence)
sit, regurgitating Ancient Fears...
listening to the same old songs;
debating right and wrong like
students of the know!

(who know nothing but the
endlessness of their ignorance.)

In Youth we made Angels
in the Snow. They were majestic..
Mindless Heroes who could
do anything but move and speak.
And I remember looking into
your eyes and feeling weak..
how death might feel if he gazed
upon the one Love he could not
bring himself to kill.

(nothing had ever felt more real.)
_

But now..here we are..Two Worm
Holes who used to be Stars; acting
like Masochists who crave the cuts
of passing years.

( yet bitch about it
every step of the way.)

j.s.h.

marshmallow days

Marshmallow Days.
_______________

My Soul has
come to dread
these Fluffy
Marshmallow
Days.

(Which lead
to Carbon nights
of Tasteless
Tragedy.)

They are
Unreal
Beyond
Imagining.
_

I smell Ghosts
everywhere, and
know they See
My Depravity.

(but they are
quite sensitive
considering how
Fearful Wraiths
can Be.)

Thus
Yesterday I was
a Man!

(while Today
I'm just Their
Memory.)

__

j.s.h.

pretty angel broken

Pretty Angel Broken.
______________________

She stands before Him Weeping.
Hands over puffed eyes. Neck Red
and Swollen. He considers saying
something, but figures it would be best
to allow her the first word, then go
along with whatever she says.

Moments pass,.. but the crying
continues, and silence grows like
The Darkness Between Them.
Threatening his Sanity. (or what's
left.)

Finally, after three tears shy of
Eternity she Speaks. Her Voice
a Crushed Rose that weeps Sad
Noise.

Her: I'm not shocked you know..
I knew you'd do it eventually.

Him: Yeah...

Her: (eyes shining in anger which
eats the sadness.)  That's fuckin it?!
Really?!...

No Honey, dont worry about me..
I'm O.K..no
need to APOLOGIZE!!
(she screams.)

Him: Don't act innocent in all this!
(he replies in anger matching her
own.) I saw the way you looked at
"Him." Like a little lost puppy
offered it's first Bone!

His Eyes Dance with A Madness only
Love or it's Absence could conceive;
and he struggles to gain his composure
as he watches Her turn her neck to the
side, exposing the deep red hand print
already turning the color of purple rage.

(A few more eternities pass before
she finally answers him. )

She: No One Deserves this Stephen.
(she whispers.)

The guilt rises in him now, as he looks
at the bruising..bruising he caused. One
may as well have plucked the wings from
an angel and blown his nose on them.
Tears threaten to overwhelm him but he
chokes them down and lowers his head.

He: You're right. (he said.) I'm Sorry
Baby..So Sorry. It just drives me Crazy
thinking of you with someone else..them
touching you. You..kissing..and..shit.
(his voice fades off..stuttering to a halt,
because he realizes he is digging a bigger
grave with his words, and if he continues
nothing will get him out of it.)

She: (cracking a sarcastic, half grin that
isn't amused in the least.) I'm with you 24
hours a Day, and have never once thought
about being with anyone else. Yeah..at times
I thought about getting "away from you." But
after all the shit you've put Me through I
wouldn't be fuckin SANE enough to try it
again. I would always SEE you in anyone
I met.

Him: (Madness born of Love and
Jealousy returning in his eyes.) Sounds
like you've given it a lot of thought.
(he says suspiciously.)

(She looks at him with a mixture of disgust,
and pity,..but gone is any Ghost of Love
which may have once walked the Halls
of her Beaten Heart.)

She: I don't know what made you this way,
but I don't think there was ever any hope for
us.

(Panic and Fear replace the madness, and
he feels a cold desperation filling his chest
like acidic air.)

Him: Don't say that Baby!..Shit. Please.
I know I get Crazy at Times, but you should
KNOW I'd never.."really" hurt you.

(she snorts hysterically at this as if he's told
a Stupid Joke.)

Her: oh...Hell..where to even begin. Ha ha!
(she laughs madly,..but madness always sounds
better from the Throat of an Angel. So he finds
himself strangely intrigued.)

Him: Look..after today I'll start trying to trust
more, and work on my issues, o.k.?...You just
have to understand how my Life has been..I'm
always getting fucked over by people, and I
don't mean to take that out on you. But you SAID
you loved me,..and if you truly did we could
work through this.

Her: (sorrow filling her eyes intensely now.)
Not this Time..Even if I wanted to..and I'm
not sayin I do..but..I can't Stephen. I'm sorry.

(The room stirs with a foreign electricity
unseen, the kind felt in your head and heart..
like an evil one breathes.)

Him: (walking towards her, and moving
his hand out to touch her face.) but
baby!..

(She doesn't say anything,..merely stares
down at a random place on the floor, as
if it may distract her from looking into the
Burning Eyes of this Man who had loved
her To Death with Madness.)

Him: Baby!...

His Eyes fill with Newborn Fear,
as he tries caressing her cheek, only to
discover that his hand has passed through
her face, and she is no longer there.

(Then he walks toward the door, heart
beating in desperation, and screams in
Hell's Horror as he looks upon the
Pretty Angel Lying Broken on The
Floor.)

j.stephen.h.

dead sleep

Do The Dead Sleep?
______________

Do you ever
wonder if the
Dead sleep,
and we are
Their Dreams?

Fragmented
Lives playing
out in This
Machine crafted
by Unmovable
Hands that never
did Anything.

(but Make it
All.)
_

I wonder,..and
Because I Wonder,
I Wonder if I
Am Death,..or
Death's Dream of
Itself?

(Playing out
in A Second)

j.stephen.h.

in my shadows house

In My Shadows House.
________________

In My Shadows
House there are
Many Craters, which
Kiss An Abyss
For This Forever
which Never Comes.

(nor Sees the Night
devoured by a New
and Cleansing Sun.)
_

Heed the Mighty
Ranter, and toss
peanuts at Him to
feed his need for
Admiration!

Watch as He
(with good intentions)
Destroys Everything
He seeks to Create
because Destruction
must always come
first before the Dawning
of New Age!

( Then Smile at
the Shadow Houses
that he Builds Upon
His face.)

j.stephen.h.

roses never last.

Roses Never Last.
___________________

I sit up
Eating Words
until I Shit
My Heart Out
for you.

(but the smell
of Roses
makes it all
seem worth
it.)
_

Did you
ever think
it would be
The End so
Quickly?

That I
would Rant
Away The Hope
We Had
For Better
Things?

I Always
figured that I'd
talk myself
back into
The Lonely.

(and Perish
Due To The
Torment
Our Love
Brings.)
_

Still,..
I Wish
I could've
touched
your Heart
enough so that
you didn't Shit
Me Out This Fast,

but..I imagine
it's only Nature.

(Considering
Roses Never
Last.)

j.stephen.h.

suicide sunsets.

Suicide Sunsets
______________

I smell Suicide
like the Memory
Of A Past Life,..
coming from
Sunrise.

It's HIM again..
The One who
Chose to Fall.

(or Flee it All.)
_

Hello Dear
Brother from
another Star,
who Shared
Our Mother..
I damn sure
Miss You..

and I'd Damn
sure like to
know what led
you Down that
Tragic Path..
so I could try to
lead you back
somehow..

And show you better
worlds (than this)
That our heads
can create,..
if we looked past
the SHIT people
wipe in our face.

(because they
never knew Life
could be
different.)
_

The Suicides Nights
are worse because
they're Darker, and
no light can penetrate
the Blackness of Lost
Memories..

As I pace the
floors thinking
about Lost Loves..
and Found
Whores,..

Drinking..
Smoking,..

Screaming
at Shadow Fiends
Painting Hell
across My Door!

Laughing...
Crying..
then Cursing That
Bastard Moon
we Drank beneath,
after Swimming
in Franks Creek..

(Bathing  in God's
Sacred Shores.)

and you
Joked about the
Trickster Muses
who seem to Haunt
Me..

Regardless that
I can't Recognize
 them anymore!!

(and when you
told me that anyone
could Burn the
Midnight Muses
I found it ever
so inspiring..but..
what is any of
This Shit really
FOR?)
__

Well Bro,..
it looks like
Another Suicide
Sunset coming
to temporarily
Save My Soul
from the Blackness
of Lost Memories.

but I'll talk to you
Again Soon Man.

and....

(hopefully
this time you won't
decide to flee.)

J.Stephen.H.

noblest muse

Noblest Muse. (TONY.)
______________

It is with all Sincerity
that I say you are among
my Noblest of Muses,..
You who opens up my mind
to Profound Ideals I never
thought to ponder.

Each conversation
brings an expansion
of The Universe
spreading in My
Head, and you are
oftentimes the Catalyst
of it's Growth.

Therefore I can
only Hope
(noblest muse)
that I may one
Day return the
favor,.. and inspire
within your luminous
Heart a Similar
Set of Stars.

J.Stephen.H.

you shall dread the corpse of my heart

You shall Dread The Corpse of My Heart.
__________________________________

What?

You couldn't wait
for the corpse of
my Heart to chill,
before moving on
to the next Truth
that will surely
kill?

Or cut away
the sanity
(whatever
that may be)
like an unnecessary
thread which irritates
the fabric of
multiple Identities?

You must be
so proud from
up there on your
star watching me
wallow in this
depravity..

A God of Heathens
who visits himself
upon The Pigs,
and does so Laughing!
_

Mad?!!...
Yes..if To
Express the
Best Gestures
of My Head is
Madness, Then
I am certainly
Mad, and will
Not Bow to the
Conformity of
Your Sanity!!
_

All Rules I
Break were meant
to Be Broken..

(And These
Words intended
to Be Spoken!)

This Machine
must be rebuilt,
and the Blood of
History's Ghosts
shall fuel My
Design!!
_

The Corpse of
My Heart shall
be The Reincarnation
of Every Dead
Heart which ever
Dared to Cease
Before!

__

(and you...you...
YOU shall Dread
that you DO Not
Hear It Anymore.)

J.Stephen.H.

a lion amongst the lambs

A Lion Amongst Lambs.
__________________

A Noble Lion
amongst the Lambs
is a Blessing upon
the World..
but a Savage
amongst Savages
perpetuates nothing
but it's Kind.
_

The Noble Lion
is not a Beast
of Prey so much
as a King of Beasts
who understands
(and seeks to
ensure) The Natural
Order.
_

His Meat is
not taken out
of Cruelty or
Desire to harm,
but to sustain
the Life within
to further serve
his World.
_

Since Everything
serves a Purpose from
the Fouls to the Fish..
even Savages serve
a rightful Function on
The Stage..

but Too much of any
Kind brings Chaos
to the Kingdom.

j.stephen.h

the divinity once called me.

The Divinity. (once called ME.)
_____________________

It seems that He
was so good at
Playing The Role
of Devil, that all
of Existence soon
forgot the Unity
it Once Was.

He Who Mourns
with Stars because
He jumped, fell,
(or slipped) from
Grace.

( while Mystery
itself remains Present
In Every  Face.)
_

Divine Energy took
a Dark Form because
it needed Variety.

Splitting into Various
Modes of Representation
as a Means of Escape
From Some Lonely Self.

(and in such an instance
Heaven is indeed Married
to Hell.)

_

When I have
a Thought, (or
a thought occurs
within Me)
I touch a Secret
Fabric in a way
which leaves an
indelible impression;
and Reality immediately
modifies because
I have Touched It.

and Then My Dreams
Dance into the
World like Marionettes
on a String I hold
trembling in my
Hands...sometimes
scared.

(because quite often
They are Nightmares.)

_

so in such an event,
I can Only Hope,
and Try to See
The Horrors
of My Personal
Self reconnect
with That Divinity.

(once called Me.)

j.s.h.

a divine and secret madness

A Divine and Secret Madness.
__________________

I Never Teach,
it is merely a
Divine and Secret
Madness that I
Preach, which
involves The
Twisting and Turning
of Words.

(until they appear
to reach a State of
Odd Compatibility.)
_

Yesterday I
was The Devil,..
Today I am God.

(Tomorrow
I Will be  Man
Again.)
_

I Fell Asleep,
in Order to Be
Awakened BY
Myself and See
Everything Contained
Within Heaven
and Hell.

(while Discovering
it's not so differently
Really.)

J.Stephen.H.

The Price of Priceless Art.

The Price of Priceless Art.
____________________

If the Price of
Priceless Art
comes at the
Expense of
Ones Sanity,
is it Worth it?

If Words
become
the Puppet
Masters of
Ones Head.

And you
Stand Alone
in Life Deserted.

(by Everyone
who Said they
were your Friend.)

and If Pain was
The Price you
Paid for Love,
would you still
take up The Fabled
Blade of Heart?

Or find
another
means by
which to
Cut?!

(until everything
in Life grew Dark.)

j.stephen.h.

between faith and sisyphus

alas!!..
The Battle
Rages between
Faith and
Sisyphus..

As One seeks
a meaning to
His Plight,..
(the pushing
of that Symbolic
Boulder)
while the other
chooses to believe
that a Higher Power
will eventually
uplift the metaphysical
weight from his
Shoulders,..while that
Freedom itself is
but an extension of
some Divine Will..
who's every act and
deed is to ensure the
perpetuation of the
best Possible World.
_

I seek Light in
This Darkness..
while remaining
(in my Soul)
convinced that
both are Necessary..
and it is a matter of
maintaining An inner
Sense of Balance
between two Opposing
Extremes.

Since without an
awareness of Evil,
how would one come
to distinguish what
is Truly Righteous?

Surely one cannot
make the distinction
of Right and Wrong
through the Means of
a "lesser good"?
_

The Smell of Roses.

The Smell of Roses

____________

How can I forget?

When Everything

reminds me of you.

The smell of Roses

after a Storm, kissed

by Angels True.

I would Eat My 

Heart if it wasn't

turning into a Hollow-

Centered Stone.

But that's the 

Downfall of a 

Monsters Love

isn't it?

(we are Cursed

By Fate To be

Alone.)

I laugh tears

when I recall

your dimpled

shoulders where

wings once were.

The feeling of

your Skin is

one of my fondest

Memories.

Then I choke

on the recollection

of My Words!

(that pushed you

away from me.)

_

Nothing I said

was Meant but

that I Love you

and Always 

Will...

(But Nothing else

matters either now

because My Heart

is Still.)

J.S.H.

the laughter of hateful walls.

The Laughter of Hateful Walls.
______________________

Nothing is Worse
than the Laughter
of Hateful Walls..
as I lay sideways
in my Bed, trying
to write away My
Gloom..

but No One
hears me when
I call!

or understands
what it means.

(to Feel your
Heart by Hell
Consumed.)
_

I Fear what's
down the Stairs..
For I know it must
be Hungry.

A Hound of
Death, with
Coal Black
Hair!

(who's breath
I Feel Upon Me.)
_

Now These
Hateful Walls
Scream...
they sound like
Pigs before the
Slaughter.

or something out
out of Satan's
Wet dream!!

(which can't be
killed with Holy
Water.)

j.stephen.h.

Arouet.

Arouet.
_______

Of all the
Muses I
have met..

few compare
to Arouet..

That Once
Sweet Angel
from long ago.

(whom other
Cherubs won't
forget.)
_

Devil Kids
were scarce
to still..

the beating of
Her Restless
heart..

but soon learned
that she lacked
the will..

to deny their
Evil Art.
_

For Early upon
The Dawn of
Man,

when she was
but a blushing
Sprite,

She took a
Serpent in
Her Hands,

that kissed
her Soul with
Hell's Delight.

(and showed
her Endless
Night.)
_

After this
her ears
grew Deaf,

to the
Trumpets
Angels blew,

and Arouet
was drawn
to Death.

(becoming
The Devils
Favorite Muse.)
_

I see Her
in My Head
at Times,

mostly when
I think and fret,

of How to
Write a
Darker Rhyme.

(which other
Cherubs won't
forget.)
_

Crushing the
Serpent in
my hand,

Hell's
tongue licks
me on the
arm..

and it's Kiss
reminds me
I am MAN.

(whom Death
shall always
charm.)

j.stephen.h.

on determinism.

A brief ranting on determinism.
______________________

I cannot rightly determine
whether or not I am a
Determinist. ( for to do
so would likely mean
that my action was pre-
determined by Inescapable
Forces of Nature.)

Freedom comes and
goes in varying degrees
it seems..

Occasional moments of
clarity which I feel are within
my control...followed by Bleak
Times in which I despair
about my assumed Lucidity.
(because Nothing Seems Real to
Me.)

A Slave to My Freedom
then? ( such is determined
by what Day you ask really.)

j.stephen.h.

on humor

On Humor.
____________

Humor is at times
the Horror that we
laugh at..which makes
happiness A Fear
we Crave.

(and pursue with
Our Minds/Eye
Unawake.)

It is multi-faceted,
and can thus be used
as a clever means
by which to mask,
or make light of the
worst social tyrannies.

A Double edged Sword,
that (when used properly)
will ease the anxieties
of this turbulent life...
but In Malicious
Intent Sever the Truths
which pour forth from the
wellsprings of Ones Soul.

j.stephen.h.

redemption in verse.

Redemption in Verse.
________________

IF there was a way
to find redemption
through verse, I would
never stop writing...
until all of the demons
from my past became
angels..and you were
always there..smiling
at me from your chair
with moonlight from
the window kissing
the paleness of your
face.

All The wicked shit I did
would be a fiction...
or plot from some other
madman's nightmare that
ended with The Hero slaying
A Dragon who chased
fearful maidens through
a cave of darkness composed
of false memories.

Death would never touch
us..and the only tears would
be from the joy known when
consumed by Loves Embrace.

Yet..there is no redemption
in verse..it's only a form of
wishing that ends with the
inevitable reality that you are
gone.

(and I was The Dragon all
along.)

j.stephen.h.

dreaming of the dead

Dreaming of The Dead.
_______________

There is some
Love so vast
and profound
that when lost
it serves as A
murderer of
The Soul in Want..
tearing away the
very essence of
Ones Heart, and
making a Devil
of an Ideal supposedly
born from Angels.

With such loss
comes a Madness
known only by
those who have
lost ..A festering
insanity in the mind
which makes any
instance of happiness
impossible, because
the Face of Death
touches every Lovers
Smile.

You see the Dead
in Everyone...
Hear the Dead in
Their Words...
and no one is a
Person..they are
The Dead..
The Dead you
Lost.

Cliche's do nothing
to abate the sorrow
creeping..felt awake
but more when
sleeping..and the
thought of Joy becomes
an INSULT to the
Dead!
_

You do not wish
to Live, but fear
Death more...
the possibility
of stillness, or
worse another
Sorrowed shore!..

(consumed by
Phantoms in your
Head.)


And so you pace,
and sit...and fret,
and ARE the Dead..
haunted by an Absence
in your mind forever
creeping..which is
with you always
while awake..
but most of all
when sleeping.

(dreaming of the
Dead.)

j.stephen.h.

the ends preceding greatness

The Ends' Preceding Greatness
_______________________

I want the
End to
be Great..

so I will
Write it
First...

"The End."

_

There...
now every
bad thing which
comes after
will be excused
by the End's
Preceding Greatness.
_

Once upon
a Time, The
World was
Timeless..

Then
Shit
started
Dying.

Now ...
Everything
Dies...

(the end.)
_

excuse me
but That was
inexcusable..

I hate a
Bad Spoiler
which ruins
the Outcome..

God was
a Spoiler
once (you
know) before
people started
telling Lies
about Him.

Now all
outcomes
and Conclusions
are false and
therefore
obsolete...

(the end.)

Great..

(now everything
is Timeless Again.)

j.stephen.h.

within this garden

Within This Garden.
_______________

Within this Garden,
there is more To See
than Flowers and Stone..

Here there are
Beautiful Memories
of Loved Ones
who shall always
be Known.
__

Angels Pray beneath
the Lighthouse..
standing guard beside
the Memorial Plaques,
which honor The
Gone but Unforgotten.

(who in Our Hearts
Will Always Come
Back.)
_

The Boy who
laughed at Butterflies..

The Sisters she grew
up with..

And The Son who
brought Joy to His
Mothers Eyes...

All were Precious Gifts!!

(who Live On In
This Garden.)

J.Stephen.H.

for aunt Shot....

i am not a hawkings robot.

I am not a Hawking's Robot.
__________________

Since I can still
be moved to Tears
by Music...

I must Have
A semblance
of Soul..

And being that I
look for causes
which would better
this world..

I am not a Hawking's
Robot..or biological
entity lacking the ability
to pave my Path.
_

And Since Babes still
smile in innocence..
and laugh at funny
Faces, or strange
noises which amuse
them..

There is still Hope..

and because there is
Hope, the World is
not without Purpose.
_

In my pursuit of meaning,
or something higher than
myself which would make
this absurd dance seem more
reasonable..

I am beginning to be
MOVED to tears by
the Music of the Universe.

(and shall assume that
I am ONE with ALL.)

j.s.h.

the coward i am

The Coward I Am.
_____________
If I could
cut This Love
for you Out
of Me I Would...

but like all
Cancers it
only festers..

rotting away
the heart with
painful pleasure
that makes death
a mercy which
never comes.
_

With you..
My heart is
A Dangerous
Drum beating
in my Throat
and threatening
to kill me with
each pulse,
stopping my
breath...

Without you?
The nights
are Bleak..
and every
morning
smells like
Suicide...

(though the
coward
I am fears
Love even
more than
Death.)
_

j.s.h.

the solitary mind of a solipsist

The Solitary Mind of a Solipsist.
__________________________
sometimes i wonder
if i'm really the devil
who no longer believes
in himself...

and if so..was the greatest
trick i ever pulled
convincing myself i do
not exist?..

that all things are
relevant only in
(and TO)
The Solitary Mind
of a Solipsist?

My Fellow Angels
(who do not exist)
likely hate me for
this...

This Freedom I've
found in Self-Denial..

but it's alright..
I Hate them Too.

(because Love does
not exist, and probably
hasn't for a while.)
_

maybe it's
time to learn a new
trick?

j.stephen.h.

Why Letters of a Circular Nature.

Why Letters of a Circular Nature.
________________________

Another drunken
night in a dim-lit
room..with an ashtray
overflowing half-smoked
cigarettes and unfinished
"Why Letters to God "
littering the floor in wads..

shall I start over?..
Why?...
_

Why seems to be
the word of the day
which leads to more
emptiness because
there is nothing here
but Why?...

A puppet army of
Whys marching like
madness to the Beat
of Absurdity's Endless
Drum..

"Why Care?"...

"Why Not"?...

Neither take you
anywhere..and
everything seems
to Rot ..

"Just Because."

(why has the end
come for nearly
Everything I love?)
_

It's so circular Here..
so that Day and Night
differ only in Shades..
while carrying
A Blackness beneath
their Surface..
which Nothing
Can Escape..

Why?!

Some argue it's
"Just Nature"..
but Nature is
"Just Some
Whores Excuse"
to explain the
Unreasonable
To Mammals who
cannot face the
Monkeys that
We Are.

(Below the
Godly Granduer.)

Why?...

(because
masochists
are busy cutting
themselves
On Stars..
and do
not realize the
The World
is CHOKING
on It's Laughter.)
_

Soon another
drunken night
will give way
to a Hungover
Morning spent
tossing and turning
on a stinky bed
without sheets
that smells like
so much sweat
and Disease...
with half-smoked
cigarettes and
unfinished
"Why Letters
to God"
crumbled on
the floor in wads...

It's..always so
Circular Here...
Why?

(just because.)

J.Stephen.H.

the ideal

The Ideal.
__________

I run from this,
because I want
it so much..
like The Dead
wish to breath
again..
or feel things
once more beyond
that Black Dream
All Dead Things
Enter.

I want the Shower
of your Kisses
Love..so much..
and because of
this I wander through
my Lonely Desert
hiding from the
Floods!,.

analyzing the
Symbol of your
Beauty until
Beauty Itself
becomes
a meaningless
Ideal which
Artists ponder..
happy to argue,
because they
know within their
Artist Hearts
no one can be
right or wrong
about the meaning
of a Lovers Song!

I want this so
much Love..
like the dead
crave breath,
and babes in
the cradle of
The Night seek
solace in the sun!

(so much that
I run.)

j.stephen.h.

my dead heart sought to love.

My dead Heart sought to Love.

_____________________

Too much

Rage within

My Head..

(which serves

as contrast

to The Sorrow.)

Too many

Thorns upon

The Rose.

(My Black

Heart sought

to Know.)

_

Too deep

with snakes

in Paradise..

beneath that

Fabled

Tree..

With

Questions

answered

By Lying

Eyes!

(which

pretended

that they

Loved Me.)

She left

Hells' 

Key Within 

my Hand,

then wandered

off with hopes

to find..

A greater

Loving,

Soulful Man.

(more 

resembling

of Her Kind.)

_

Too many

fables lacking

truth!!..thus

none are worth

ones Trust.

Too Many

Thorns upon

The Rose..

(My Dead

Heart sought

to Love.)

J.Stephen.H.

Pretty Like The Damned.

Pretty Like the Damned.
________________

The kisses were
like Madness,..
but I was glad..
glad..

Because they
eased My Heart
of Sadness.

(and reminded
me of Everything
I Had.)
_

Pretty like
A Corpse
with Angel
Wings was
She..

Pretty like
the Damned..
The Damned!!

(who are
not worth
Remembering.)
_

I believed
in God
each moment
She smiled..

(and saw The
Devil when
she Cried.)

while accepting
that The Soul has
Several Colors.

(by many
Phantoms
Occupied.)
_

But the kisses
are My Enemies
Now...

My Enemies!

1,000 Soldiers
Hard At War.

(with the
Hateful Ghost
Inside of Me.)
_

Oh, Pretty like
The Damned
is She..

The Damned!

(Full of Love
not Worth
Remembering.)

J.Stephen.H.

the moment her angel left.

The Moment her Angel Left.
_______________________

She walks into the
Empty Room,
(where laughter
used to be.)
and stands looking
at the Toys he
played with..
they lay upon the
ground so still and
lifeless that she
drops to her knees
in tears, holding
onto a Teddy bear
he once held in his
infant arms while
falling asleep.

She attempts to fight
The Pain, but it's
too hard..and she
can't hold back.

She tries to Dream
of Good Things, and
summon the warmth
of Light within her Soul
she once felt, but the only
thing that has come since
the day her baby was ripped
from her arms, is the
Darkness.

(a Darkness she gave
into the moment her
Angel Left.)

Cheryl Lynn Sims.

the first goodbye

The First Goodbye.
___________

I held forever
in my hands..
and threw it
away after a
month of
wishing
goodbye
didn't seem
more Eternal.

It is a
Self-
fulfilling
Prophecy to
be sure..
when the
Mind fixates
so deeply on
a False
Conclusion
that it becomes
real as a matter
of Unintended
Consequence..

but I
cannot
help it..

(stealing
Forever from
Them..
and replacing
Their Hope
in Eternity
with The
Reality of
My Faiths
Abandonment.)

It's Part
of Being
a Prophet
of Goodbye..

The Honest
Tyrant who
exposes
the defects
most suffer
but cannot
admit to.

The Animal
in Search of
a Soul.

(which parted
Long Before
the First Goodbye.)

j.stephen.h.

here lies the man

Here Lies the Man.
_________

Here lies
the Man..
That Sleeping
Shell of Soul.
(or corpse
Eternal.)

Flowers cannot
mask the stench
of this Heart
which ceased.

(nor Birdsong
stifle his Screams.)
_

Days spent in
Drunkenness
served as
Tribute to
his Wasted
Life..

which ended
abruptly in
a bar fight
after three
beers, five
whiskeys
and the thrust
of a Knife.

followed by
the despairing
wails of a black
eyed wife.

(who probably
Loved him out
of Spite.)
_

Here Lies
the Man..
a sad-sack
of bones laid
unfitfully to
Rest in a cheap
wooden chest.

Flowers cannot
mask the Death..
which robbed
him of his Breath.

(and May His
Corpse Die
Eternal.)

j.s.h.

in cupids name.

In Cupids Name.
________

Out of
Love
(or lust)
for a
Woman..

Men have
been doing
stupid shit
for Centuries..

Empires have
been built and
crumbled in
Cupids Name.
_

Madness has
been bred, and
murder committed..

Souls reborn
out of Darkness
into New found
Light..

Pleasure and
Pain are Equal
in It's Eyes.
_

Hand in Hand
through Unknown
Fields they Tread..
exchanging blows
like Warring Siblings
who Love to Hate
each other.

(starving in
in their Want
For Bread.)
_

I question
Daily this
Presence..

Praying in
The name of
a God who
meets my
Desperate
Pleas with
Silence.
_

Is Silence
The Answer?

To Make your
Heart a Stone
that only softens
for a Special
Cause?

Or does a
Secret Madness
wait like Hell
for those who
do not Dare to
chance The Pain?

How can something
Damn you as it
Saves?!
_

I ask of
this.

(In Cupids
Name.)

J.Stephen.H.

This is How You Die.

This is How You Die.
______________

This is
how You
Die..she
said..

(then kissed
me.)

Dying
is Nice..

like
Butterflies
in Your
Head.

(who's Wings
mask the
Sound of
Misery.)
_

Do you
Think you
Own Me?
(i ask.)

That your
eyes will
provide
answers to
the Questions
I pursue?

NO..

(she responds
with a Laugh.)

I Only
find The
Moment
True!
_

The
Moment..

A fractured
second gone
before the
minute it
"Becomes"...

The
Moment...
What I
"wait"
for.

(when no
Prayers seem
to Come.)
_

This is
how I
Died..

(when she
kissed me.)

Carried off
on the Wings
of Butterflies.

(which mask
the sound
of Misery.)

J.Stephen.H.

tonight my pen bleeds love.

Tonight My Pen Bleeds Love.
_____________________

Tonight My
Pen Bleeds
Love..

(because an
Angel of Mercy
has made her
mark upon
my Half-Dead
Heart.)
_

I Know now
where the Wild
Things are..

Locked Within
A Pretty Set of
Eyes.

(which make
A Comfortable
Prison for
Rebellious
Stars.)

Where
Flowers
do not Die...

and
Memories
Are Not
Painful!

(yet I
NEVER
knew that
Love could
lead my
Soul this
Far.)
_

Tonight My
Pen writes
away every
Dark Thing
I once kept
Bottled Here..

Gone is
The Envy
in My
Head..

(Forgotten..
The Voices
of The Dead.)

Dried
My Wistful
Tears!

and (as such)
My Wicked
Thoughts
lay Silent!

(replaced By
Angels instead.)

j.stephen.h.